One year ago today.

This was me one year ago today; stepping off the plane in Milan, Italy.

  

This was the best two weeks of my life, and I would pack my bags and go back tonight if I could.

I've heard it said...

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Coincidence? I think not.

I must be the luckiest girl in the world.

It's not enough.

I love the sky most of all.
But you are more to me
than all the skies.

Dreamt Aloud

In the faded haze,
Behind curtained eye lids.
A familiar voice,
Reaches through muffled connection.
Pulls me from a dark nights grasp.
Reminding me of what is,
And assuring me of what will be.

Aching to keep you deep in my subconscious,
I loosen my grip.
Eyes jult open.
Frantically searching
Desperately longing.
Of course,
Only you could reach me here.

Everlasting Light

Photo Credit: Eva Stilson

Let me be your everlasting light
The sun when there is none
I'm a shepherd for you
And I'll guide you through
Let me be your everlasting light

Let me be your everlasting light
I'll hold and never scold
In me you can confide
When no one's by your side
Let me be your everlasting light

Oh baby, can't you see
It's shinin' just for you
Loneliness is over
Dark days are through
They're through

Let me be your everlasting light
A train goin' 'way from pain
Love is the coal
That makes this train roll
Let me be your everlasting light

Gentle handed, Lion hearted

This boy is my best friend, and my sister. Niels is one of the easiest people on this planet to get along with, and I'm going to miss him a lot. He's leaving on a two year mission to Morristown New Jersey and I couldn't be more excited for him. Over the past three years or so, I've gotten closer to Niels. He's one of those few people I can talk for hours about nothing and everything. There are no walls to break down, and no egg shells to walk around. I trust this kid more than anyone, and love him so much. Saying goodbye to Niels was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Even though it wasn't a goodbye, but merely a "see ya in two years", it was still so hard. He is doing the right thing, no doubt, and I couldn't support him more than I already do. Before you leave Niels, just know that I really do love you so much. Never forget that. You are going to be such a good missionary, and the people of New Jersey are so lucky! Good luck, and don't worry about us, because we'll be just as in love with you when you come back!

Please enjoy these pictures of Niels and I either in nature or eating. Our favorite things.

These are my other best friends. We all love eachother so much. As one of our last days all together for a while, we went up to Vernon Utah to Chris' ranch. It was one of the best days, that should've never ended.

Cocorosie: Rainbow Warriors

In these times of evil spirits
Of material thugs and mischief
Fear Saint Noni's wisdom
And his love for rainbow spirits
Jealous of their faithful heart-bond
And their dancing and their laughing
Made at last a league against them
To molest them and destroy them
Saint Noni wise and heart-strong
Often said to Rainbowarrior
"O my brother do not leave me!
Lest the evel spirits harm you!"
Rainbowarrior of two spirits
Gentle hand and lion-hearted
He laughed and then he answered
Like a child he softly whispered

We are Rainbowarriors
Evil come not near
Rainbow love awaits us
With hearts of love and tears

He's dead our sweetest mother
Loving father and our teacher
He's gone from us forever
He has moved a little nearer
To the master of all laughter
To the master of all song
O my brother, O my brother
Crystal brother of two spirits
Then we gathered in a circle
Stood round the rainbow fire
Burning embers hearts united
We remembered mystical beauty
If you look hard you can find a
Rainbow trail it's deep inside ya
Fear not you're a rainbowarrior
Golden light on everything gleaming

Just ranting.

Truth is, girls are pretty damn dramatic.

Truth is, the world is not out to get you.

Truth is, I'm done doing things for other people because it's what I think they want, or so I don't hurt their feelings. (Niels explains the feeling pretty well.) I'm done feeling to blame for your sadness.

Truth is, Moab is where I'm supposed to be right now. Sometimes it's too far away, and sometimes, not far enough.

Truth is, there's someone I really miss, that I'm going to miss a whole lot more in 8 days.

Truth is, I don't know what the truth is.

Call it what you want, but I just say it how it is.